// The Fi Challenge//

During the next time you are with a sexual partner, pause for a moment and show no emotion. Look them in the eyes and state: “There is an 85% chance that you are sexually aroused.”

// Meanwhile, Noises Come From My Shower//

On the bed I lounge, laptop at hand
Glancing at the dildo with blue swirls on my nightstand
Chemistry lab write-up needs to be written
It’s been far too long since I’ve been bitten
There is a large bruise on my arm; not sure how it got there
I’ll finally change my bedsheets tomorrow, I swear
Phone battery is slowly dying (Aah!)
Do you think *censored sex act* is worth trying? (Nah)
There’s a drag show next week
My calculus grade is looking bleak
Roommate’s singing in the shower
I’ve been sitting around shirtless for over an hour
Indian students are jealous of my grades in bio
So I must be doing something right, although
There.
are.
dead.
ants.
on.
my.
desk.

I squish them with my fingers.
Like a badass 

// Journey to Becoming a Medical Pokemon Master//

I am training to become a metaphorical pokemon master. Medical school is the elite four. It will be long, intense, and there will not be a pokemon center to save me when I lose stamina.

But first, I must catch pokemon, earn badges, and train.

I have one badge for getting into college on academic scholarship and making a 4.0 the first semester. But then I got cocky and grossly underestimated the strength of the next gym leader, who has the pokemon Diff Calc, 2nd evolution of Chem, 2nd evolution of Bio, and Cog Sci.

I have grown accustomed to facing primarily humanities and liberal arts types, so the math and science types of pokemon are kicking my ass. 

I’m in the process of catching new pokemon now, and I will train them in the grass for a while. Fighting type: Exercise. Psychic Type: True Studying. I’m going to put Cramming back in the PC.

// Goron Adventures//

Reached the Goron Island in Zelda: Phantom Hourglass.

NOSTALGIA BONER MUSIC. SHALL I SERENADE YOU WITH SARIA’S SONG? THE GORON’S LULLABY? SOME WRESTLING MAYBE? WRESTLING IS THE SONG OF THE BODY, YOU KNOW.

Doot doot deet doot doot wo wa woo woo wa

So I’m ambling along with a joyous expression..

Goron: If you lose your shield, you can pick up a new one at the store, outsider.

OH NO. THERE ARE LIKE-LIKES HERE, AREN’T THERE?

A little more cautiously roaming the island..

Goron: What we call our island’s Goron Amber is actually.. Oh! I really should not utter the secret!

OH GOD. IT’S THEIR SNOT, ISN’T IT? I’VE BEEN COLLECTING DRIED GORON NASAL FLUIDS THIS WHOLE TIME.

Goron: We eat wooden hearts-

I’M GOING TO DIE HERE. HELP ME, ZORAS.

Goron: Does your desire to become a Goron burn to your very core? Let me probe into the matter.. 

THEY’RE SETTING ME UP FOR A PORNO. GORON PORN. OH GOD. IT’S NOT JIZZ, IS IT? THE GORON AMBER?

// Anatomy You Should Bestow Upon My Neck//

DARE YOU PLACE A BRAIN ON MY BODY?

OR A RIBCAGE?

(Click-through to get to etsy shops.)

IT’S THE HOLIDAY SEASON, YOU KNOW. TIME TO PUT SOME ANATOMY AGAINST MY ANATOMY. AND EGGNOG SHALL BE HAD AFTERWARD. OR BEFORE. OR DURING. OOHOOHOO.

veganheadspace asked: Lisa, there's a picture of you on effingdykes! :D And your hair is effing long...

Oh my ahaha YES!! Muchas gracias for letting me know! I’m slightly internet-famous! Just kidding I’m still just a random college student in an obscure corner of the internet. No- an air vent. I SHALL WAFT AWESOME THINGS TO YOU.